woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize