then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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