she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
