Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
i came on her dog
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
