I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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