at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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