So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
