Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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