Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Screwed.edu
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
