yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
