Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
