@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
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