he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
