Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
