My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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