I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
