people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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