So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I feel great
I just peed on a car
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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