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just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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