So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
