I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
