is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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