I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
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