i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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