remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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