I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
