Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize