I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
