why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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