I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
