she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
