I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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