I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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