Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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