were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Randomize
