When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
