she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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