apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
