Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
