I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
