I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
