i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
