i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
