I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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