You're completely useless in the revolution.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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