She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize