I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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