Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
