as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
