I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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