I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
this will be a night to untag.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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