I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
