I have demons in me.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
