hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
