Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
