ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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