it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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