No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
