Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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