maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
