pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
