He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
