That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
