They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
