Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize
