guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
