PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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